I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
