you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
