we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
