i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
