Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think my vagina is haunted
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
