she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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