Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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