Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
