If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
