eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I touched a dick in church today
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
