you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
