I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
