Midget sex pt 2 tonight
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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