Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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