i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
