So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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