he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When are your genitals available?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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