So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
