She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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