Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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