After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
