dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
