I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
