I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my sisters under your porch take her home
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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