i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
