cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
