New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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