We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Let's get the cat blown out
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drake has all the answers
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
