yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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