god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
