I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
send nudes
from the living room?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
