Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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