ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
