Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
