I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You took a bar mat shot.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
