if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
