So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
