4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She is in my trunk
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
