honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
