it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well I just put wine in my tea
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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