I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I looked at my own cervix.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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