She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
