I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
