I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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