So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just found puke in my bra..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
