I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
