She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
