Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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