I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
