2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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