You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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