You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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